Ever since I met Gary and we began a brand new life I have purposefully and intentionally created an environment in which we both can flourish. Whilst Gary would probably do equally well in a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of environment, I really wouldn’t. The routines and rhythms of life help me to feel grounded and secure. I have never craved excitement, just stability. A home where love lives and laughter is heard almost constantly. A happy home.
One lovely tradition we began at the beginning of the year was to have my mum round to us each Saturday night. I make a nourishing vegetarian lasagna and we all sit together in front of a roaring fire and watch an episode of the Darling Buds of May:
Mum brings each of us a favourite cookie or mini iced cake, which we have as a treat after a very healthy lasagna:
I cook the lasagna from scratch and it has about 101 different vegetables in it. Well, maybe not that many but there are lots. I fry gently some chopped onion, garlic and chopped up celery. I peel and cut into very small cubes lots of carrots. When these are softening I add a finely chopped red pepper, yellow pepper, green pepper and courgette; quartered little mushrooms; a couple of tins of sweetcorn; a few tins of tomatoes and chopped herbs.
This is a picture taken before I add the tomatoes. Isn’t it just so beautiful with so many colours:
Then I layer with lasagna sheets, white sauce and a sprinkling of mozzerella and cheddar cheese, along with some freshly chopped basil leaves. It goes in a medium oven for an hour and is so tasty. Mum says she looks forward to it all week, and it is her favourite meal of the week:
The Darling Buds of May is about a lovely carefree family who live on a farm. They laugh and joke their way through life, supporting each other and their friends through good times and bad. One of my twins said something which brought tears to my eyes, although she wasn’t aware of this. She said that apart from the food (they eat a HUGE amount of food each day- even more than us!) their family reminded her of us. My goal to create a happy family atmosphere was paid off in that moment. Her throw-away comment caused me so much joy. We shared a hug and off she went on her way, having no idea how deeply her words had affected me.
Nourishment, just for me
I feel selfish just writing that title! However, my dried roses are really my joy. Everyone else thinks they are pretty, but for me they are comforting and homely. I know I mention them every week, but honestly that just reflects the affect they have on me. So much beauty. I buy roses every fortnight. The day I swap them over I hang the old bunch upside down from my banisters:
This last lot I bought for less money because they were going out of date. I loved the colour and the shape of the petals, so I went ahead and bought them. Two weeks later they had dried themselves in their vase. Slightly weird because I had kept them watered. I was surprised by their shape as they dried:
They dried with their flowers open and bent over. I think they look really pretty. When I dry roses upside down they dry with their heads dead straight upwards, but these were bent and open and looked very different:
I cut the stems shorter and popped them into the vase my lovely friend, Nik, designed and made for me by hand for my fortieth birthday:
Simple and pretty. This week I’ll not be buying any roses. This week I shall spend gazing at last week’s roses and marveling at their beauty.
The Nourishment of Being Yourself
I have discovered it’s nourishing to follow one’s gut. I never thought I would see the word nourish and gut in the same sentence but there you go! Last week, as a family, we decided not to carry on with unschooling. I had really tried to embrace the whole trusting my children and letting them choose how to use their time. It was funny though. I have read about unschooling families for whom unschooling has brought closer relationships and a more peaceful home. I can’t tell you how much family relationships and peace in the home mean to me. Our home is generally peaceful. We don’t allow bickering so, although it happens it doesn’t happen often. Most of the time we have lots of fun together and enjoy each other immensely
In my head I had visions of happy children almost skipping through their day with such enthusiasm that I would feel peaceful and charmed by the whole experience. And there were moments like that. However, what I found is children who were a bit lost with the vastness of the opportunities and time which stretched ahead of them each day. I was also antsy. I have spent thirteen years being deeply involved in my children’s lives. They have an enormous amount of freedom but it is always carefully measured against their maturity to cope with it. In the past we have discussed everything and made decisions as a family. This became lost. I’m not sure why.
What I do know though, is that we were not being ‘us’. When we are authentically just being, everything, and I really do mean everything, falls into place. School, chores, hobbies, life become one seamless adventure. Unschooling may have made us more authentically ‘us’. It may have. But it didn’t.
As my journey into nourishing myself and my family continues, I have learnt an important lesson. It is good to try things out. And it is good to lay some things aside if they do not fit.
We have a wonderful life together. It is happy, nourishing and worthwhile. It is one big adventure; together, hand in hand, navigating the smooth sailing with the same enthusiasm as the rough. It is us and it makes us smile. Every day.
I have really got to get more photos with me in it!