Girls’ Club

The idea for Girls’ Club came from the book below by Sally Clarkson:

My family is everything to me. I am a huge introvert which for me means that I tend not to go out with friends that often. In fact, I have one very special friend, but I consider her more of a sister than a friend. I say this, because going out with people I am not extremely comfortable with over-stimulates me, affecting my sleep for days afterwards. I only learnt this about myself during lockdown, when a forced isolation showed me just how calm I am naturally. Lockdown was AMAZING for me! I do know the lockdown was very difficult for others. However, I have reflected and wondered whether this difficulty extroverts felt during lockdown parallels an introvert’s difficulty in a normal noisy and busy world?

Why on earth am I talking about this? Well….people I am extremely comfortable with and who I feel I can just be myself with do not, on the whole, over stimulate me. My family falls into this category. And to be honest, we are all a bit like this, apart from maybe Lillie, who more takes after her dad. Prioritising time with these gorgeous people, my people, my tribe, is essential. As Gary says, if it wasn’t for them I’d probably be a hermit. You know what, though? I think I’d be as happy as pig in muck! I love my own company!

Time Together

Our family all prioritise each other. I think it might be a result of homeschooling. The further I trek on the homeschool path, the more I am realising that its benefits are so much greater than just education. Spending each and every day together means naturally investing in each other’s lives.

Even now, if one of the littles has a problem, they ring their big brother and he comes round straight after work and takes them for a drive or a walk in the woods. He gives them the space to vent, cry or just chat.

When one sibling has success in an area, it is celebrated by all the others. I know the older three text each other on a daily basis and tonight they are all going out dancing together. They go to concerts together, and on holiday together. They are, without doubt, each other’s best friends.

Nothing happens in a vacuum. Intention is everything. When they were young, I was intentional in encouraging their friendships. We used sibling time where each child had a half an hour playtime with each of their siblings. In their school, they partnered up with their younger siblings to do various learning activities together. Working towards common goals within their education, for example when studying Shakespeare and put on an entire Shakespeare play (Midsummer Night’s Dream), encouraged them to learn how to work with each other.

Please don’t think it was all sunshine and rainbows…

It wasn’t! We have five strong-willed opinionated children, none of whom liked to back down. Gary and I always stuck to our guns. No bickering. No tantrums. Absolutely no slamming doors. No atmosphere in the home. My entire childhood had been the opposite of this. I did not want my adulthood to be the same. So we prioritised peace and loving the others in the home as we ourselves wanted to be loved.

The emphasis on relationships paid off. They had good grounding and firm foundations. When the hormones calmed a few short years later, it was as if the struggles had never happened. Today, they are all such good friends ❤️

Enter Girls’ Club

So what does Girls’ Club have to do with any of this?

I think as the children become teens and then young adults, they begin living a separate life from their family.

This is good and healthy, and just as it should be.

However, it does mean that we have to be even more intentional. For us, this looks like a family roast on a Sunday, family night/games night on a Monday, supermarket shopping on a Saturday and Girls’ club once a month or so. For each, anyone who can make it does. There is no pressure. I want it to be something the adult children choose to do because they want to be there, not because I’ve guilted them into it. And it’s great. Sometimes we have all six of them (Ads, our son-in-law is counted as one also), other times it’s just a few. Always, we have a lovely time.

What is Girls’ Club? And What Do We Do?

Girls’ Club is essentially intentional mother and daughter(s) time. We try very hard to make sure it is all five of us, and to find a time which suits us all. Everyone has such a busy life, it is sometimes tricky. We tend to go to a lovely small old nearby town which is full of olde worlde coffee shops, antique shops and lots of charity shops. Charlotte now lives in that very same town, so we’re able to include a cup of tea at her’s after trailing around all of the charity shops.

Sometimes, though, if someone is particularly tired, or just getting over an infection…or none of us have any money to go shopping, we gather together to watch a video or play games. We’ve even settled in for a frosty afternoon and played detectives and tried to solve a murder with Cryptic Killers.

Regardless of what we actually do, we are spending time together, making memories, supporting each other, loving each other and always building on those strong foundations.