Angelicscalliwags Rag #10

I am so enjoying not being in February! The sun is shining, the mornings are light and my va va voom has returned! I’m not sure why February affects me so much. It is like a wreaking ball through my life each year. Taking a swing, knocking me off kilter for approximately four weeks. Fortunately, afterwards it then stops swingings allowing me to climb back up to a life that looks recognisably Claire’s.

This week has been a good week. It started with Mother’s Day and ended with me finishing a book I can’t wait to share with you all. Absolutely the bestest, most warmly written, heart rendering book you’ll even read. It is written with love, authenticity. And showing not just the fragility of the human spirit, but how robust it can be when there is love involved. I write about it in my book section below.

Mother’s Day

I enjoyed Mother’s Day. It is a day which fills me with both anticipation and dread, a little like a yearly review might for the working person. Did I do good? Or did I fall short? My children are always very thoughtful and loving, but I don’t think they realise the potential impact Mother’s Day has on me.

Twenty-four years ago, Gary and I decided I should stay at home. We did not have any children and were not nearly earning enough money to live on one salary. Not to mention the tuts and shaking of heads we got when we told friends and family. My whole life has been about Gary, my children and anyone else God brings to my home. For me, Mother’s Day holds a lot of my worth in its hands. Birthdays, anniversaries, Valentines…they all pale in comparison, as I ask myself whether what I have done with my life is enough.

Letters from the Children

Every Mother’s Day, each of my children write me a letter. This tradition has been going on for years, primarily because words of affirmation and time are my love languages, so a child taking the time to sit and think and write to me ticks all my love bucket boxes.

This year, the words held something a little different to normal. I mean, they all held words of love and appreciation…just like normal. But the children are now no longer children. Three are adults, two are teens. Somehow, in a way I didn’t notice last year, their letters held maturity and wisdom. God’s words were smattered throughout, feeding my soul as well as my heart. However, it was my son’s letter which, perhaps, surprised me the most. In it, he wrote about how proud he was of me for always wholeheartedly following God’s plan for my life. I’m not sure I can express how poignant this was to me and how much it meant to me.

I was also blessed to receive a bunch of flowers and a mini paint pallet from Lillie, some daffodils from Abigail, a beautiful heart plaque and a guardian angel pin from Becca, a watercolour journal from Charlotte and a book from Ads:

Tutorial and Worries About Not Being in Work

Mother’s Day segues nicely into a tutorial I had two days later with my tutor group at uni. I think I’ve mentioned before that the module I am currently studying for my masters is on policy and clinical practice. At least 50% of the module is marked on my ability to reflect on my professional life. Thing is, I’ve never been out to work so have never really had a professional life to reflect on. Add that to the fact that the reflections needed to contain, at least mentions, of policy as well, and I was starting to panic that I might not even pass this year.

Learning to Speak Up

There were just six people attending the tutorial, including me and the tutor, so I gathered up my courage to express how I was feeling. I’m so glad I did! The tutor immediately said that I will have got lots of experience simply by being a stay at home mum…and really this begs the question of what makes someone a professional? He carried on by saying that just because the status quo on being a professional is the idea that the more qualifications you have the more of a professional you became, doesn’t mean that the status quo is right!

Just by talking about how I was feeling helped quash the feelings of inadequacy and made them much smaller. I feel happier going forward and my enthusiasm has returned somewhat for this module. I must say that I am enjoying the second assignment linked to this module about listening to children and encouraging their participation. We have to chose a topic from the module about which to write our End of Module Assignment (EMA) and I am almost certain that I will choose to review the literature available about listening to children in care and encouraging their participation in their own care.

Books Read

It’s quite exciting when everything one does in a week dove tails. This week has been a bit like that for me. Motherhood and serving God from within my home has been prominent this week, perhaps due, in part, to Mother’s Day, but I think also because of the discussion which came from my tutor group after I shared my worries.

Hospitality, Adoption and Family Closeness

Rather fortuitously, I have also been reading books on hospitality, adoption and family closeness. It has been quite an emotional week, all in all, but one I wouldn’t have changed for the world. I have come out the other end feeling a renewed zeal to follow God’s calling on my life. Of course, it might just be that February is well and truly behind us now, and so life looks rosy once more, but I think perhaps it is a little bit more meaningful than that. Maybe a ‘Godincident’ as my children like to call it. Whatever the case, Mother’s Day and all its words of love from my children, and my tutor’s thoughtful comments and support for me as a stay at home mum, along with the three books I have read this week…well, let’s just say, I am filled with purpose once more.

The Gospel Comes with a House Key

The first book is called The Gospel Comes with a House Key: Practicing Radically Ordinary Hospitality in Our Post-Christian World by Rosaria Butterfield. I wasn’t sure I was going to love this one at the start because the author seemed intent on patting herself on the back with all she and her family did. But, one should never judge so quickly, I’m so pleased I carried on reading because she also, with almost excruciating honesty, shared her downfalls as well. I really recommend this book.

Rosaria has lived her faith, even when it was almost impossible. My main take away will be a saying she quotes many times throughout the book…’God doesn’t make mistakes about addresses’ (that’s possibly not verbatim…my memory sucks!). The meaning, that God places us exactly where He needs us, was a message worth reading the book for. The book is messy in its narration, like all good stories about lives well lived. The Christian life is not always pretty, more often than not makes no sense to those who do not believe, and sometimes even makes no sense to those who do believe. But it is always a life worth living, exhilarating in its messiness and coming with a Peace that surpasses all understanding. I really recommend this book.

Honestly Adoption

The second book I read was Honestly Adoption: Answers to 101 Questions About Adoption and Foster Care by Mike Berry, Kristin Berry. I’ve read another of their books on adoption and I like the honesty regarding the difficulties and heartbreak it can bring. They answer each of these questions from their own experience, not from research based analysis.

Given that most of the writing I read surrounding children in care is linked with my master’s, it is a refreshing change for something to be emotion driven rather than fact driven, although I guess both have their place! For me though, I thoroughly enjoyed their well thought out and helpful answers as they cover every topic under the sun, even the hard, not so often talked about aspects of adoption and foster care. I’d love to get together with the authors of this book and ask my own 101 questions. I have a feeling that they have even more to offer from their vast experience of adopting eight children.

Brother. do. you. love. me.

Last but absolutely not least, and possibly the book that has had the greatest effect on me over the last 14 months of keeping records about my reading, is Brother. do. you. love. me. by Manni Coe and Reuben Coe. Written by Manni Coe and illustrated by Reuben Coe this book is essentially a story about brotherly love. Manni ‘rescues’ his brother Reuben from the care home he had been staying in for the last ten months during lockdown.

Born with Down’s Syndrome, Reuben has been reduced from a chatty, active and enthusiastic member of society to a recluse, who does not want to talk, look after his basic care or do…well anything really. And when he sends his brother a desperate text: Brother. Do. You. Love. Me. Manni knows he has to do something, so he travels back to England from Spain, ‘breaks’ Reuben out of his home and spends the winter living together, trying to find the old Reuben under the many layers of the failed care system, so desperately understaffed at such a difficult time in history. This book is the joint memoirs of brothers who clearly love each other so much and have a friendship which surpasses time, distance and separation. As Manni himself says, ‘there’s very little that can’t be solved by love.” I couldn’t agree more 🧡

Vegetarian Cooking

I’ve made a couple of dishes this week and one of them is definitely a keeper. The first is pasta with a creamy cheesy garlicy sauce with fresh peas and spinach with roasted tomatoes and fresh pesto sauce on the top. It doesn’t look beautiful but the taste was amazing. I got this recipe from my Mother’s Day present from Thomas – six meals from Hello Fresh:

The second dish was still very good but not nearly as tasty as the pasta dish above. This one was a mushroom stroganoff with a filo pastry topping and roasted carrots. The roasted carrots were scrumptious and definitely something I’ll be adding to our weekly roast:

Angelicscalliwags Art

I’ve just published my 20th video on my YouTube art channel. This week is a relaxing paint with me. I open my Scrawlr Box which contained Viviva colour sheets. These were the most vibrant water colour paints I have ever painted with – they were gorgeous!

My goal for these subscription boxes is to use the art supplies to recreate one or more of my animal characters and turn it/them into play stamps to accompany the stationary sets I eventually want to sell on my Etsy shop. This week I used the Viviva colour sheets to recreate my three hedgehogs:

I then turned these into play stamp stickers:

And filmed myself throughout the whole process:

Right I’m off! I’ve spent most of today chatting to either one or another of my children, and whilst that has been lovely and needed, I literally didn’t achieve any of the work stuff I wanted to get done. Of course my children are far more important than any work but I am hoping to get a small amount of tangible things ticked off my list tomorrow!