A Year in the Life of a Homeschooling Family: Day 15

I got up this morning determined to homeschool. I am after all a homeschooling mum, and therefore should be doing just that. I started well. Having been in bed for four days solid and with too high a temperature to wash, a bath was a necessity, if I didn’t want my body walking away without the use of my legs…(TMI?!)

The bath was so lovely, but just half an hour later I was in the kitchen retching and close to passing out. My daughters threatened to call their father if I did not get my bottom back into bed! After much huffing and puffing, I retraced my steps back to THE PRISON, muttering under my breath something about being an adult and therefore quite old enough to make my mind up about whether I was well enough to be up or not. I felt, rather than saw, the looks of frustrated compassion my daughters were sending towards my retreating back.

Back in bed, and I was starting to feel that maybe they had a point. I was cold and shivery and really not up to the job of being a proper bona fide homeschooling mum. There and then I made the decision to homeschool from my bed. A good compromise, no? You would have thought so, but no. What followed was a lecture about having two sixteen year olds who were old enough and capable enough to run the home and homeschool the littles, whilst homeschooling themselves…So, would I please let them just get on with the job of looking after me!

In the end, I gave up. Fortunately, I had done most of my planning for the week, so Abs, Becs and Charlotte knew exactly what they needed to get done. Lil knew what her màths, photography and psychology was, but I hadn’t quite finished her human biology. So that was the first thing to complete. I shut my bedroom door so no-one could see me sneak some work in. Ha, I felt like a naughty child… although according to my children I am a naughty child!

At lunchtime, I was brought home-made leek and potato soup with home-made croutons, all of which Charlotte made from scratch and Lillie brought to my room. I mean, I am literally not allowed to leave my room, not even to pick up my lunch. I’m not sure what they’re going to do when I need the loo… Commode? Catheter? A rather disturbing vision of my future just flashed through my mind. Shuddddddder at the thought.

After quiet time a coughing/laughing fit ensued when I overheard my youngest twin trying to explain menstrual cycles to her youngest sister. Oh my, where does she get it from! Okay, so it started like this…

Becs: I don’t understand, does everyone get hormones? And then a period?

Charlotte (taking a deeeeep breath): Well, it’s your uterus wall getting ready to have a baby, and when one doesn’t come, your body gets rid of the uterus wall in the form of blood

Me: Yup, with you so far…

Becs: Eh?

Charlotte (taking another deeeep breath): It’s a bit like when someone prepares a room for guests in a hotel…

Becs: Yup, with you so far…

Me: Eh?!

Charlotte continuing with same breath: …and the guest who was expected doesn’t come…

Me: Almost wetting myself with laughter..

Charlotte, utterly ignoring my hysterics and focused completely on her youngest sister who was nodding comprehendingly: …and the room isn’t needed any more, so all the preparations are got rid of until the room is rebooked for the next visitor.

Becs: Oh, I get it now. Thanks Charlie

Me, still laughing uncontrollably: Commode anyone? Catheter? Seriously, I need one NOW, these pelvic floors are not what they used to be…